You can't make this stuff up.
On a quiet day out here at the ranch, they can sometimes find comic relief in the local newspaper:
*Police responded to a residence where the husband was threatening to burn the house down. He had a match and lighter fluid in his possession. He was charged with terroristic threat and is now living in the local jail.
*Police responded to a 911 call from a woman who said she had stabbed her husband.
When the police arrived, the woman came out to meet them and apologized.
The police went into the house and sure enough, there was her husband, lying on the floor in a pool of blood. And, yes, there was a knife stuck in his back.
*Firework's Stand employee left his post for a nap. Upon returning, he found a guy grabbing fireworks. The employee demanded the return of the stolen property. The suspect went to his vehicle, where he had already placed a large quantity of fireworks. He gave all the stolen property back and, then, he drove away.

Alvin, the house chicken

The snake is back.
This was sadly learned after purchasing three Americana chicks. The Americana chickens are also called Easter eggers because they lay blue and green eggs. The three chicks disappeared from the nursery the first night in their new home. The snake was able to get through the tiny holes in the wiring, eat and digest the chicks before slipping out of the nursery and the hen house.
After a week, two more Americana chicks were placed into the nursery. These chicks were a week older and bigger. But not big enough. The snake found them and only one survived.
That was enough! She brought the surviving chick back to the house and placed her into a dog crate in the den, much to his chagrin.
Five days later, the chick has found residence in a brand new blue Victorian model bird cage and lives in the air conditioned comfort of the ranch house. Because of her chubby chipmunk cheeks, she has been named "Alvin".
How can you spoil a chicken? It can be done. Whenever, she leaves the room, Alvin is very vocal. Whenever she comes near her cage, Alvin jumps up and down at the door begging to be picked up. Once the door is opened, he hops into her loving hands. She takes him out onto the porch, puts him in her lap where he grooms himself and then falls asleep.
Another new pet for Burnt Biscuit Ranch.